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Literature Text
You are the person who I can be myself around.
The person who I don't need to impress.
The person who I can burp with,
snort with, have blonde moments with
without fear or embarrassment.
I don't need to hold in my laughter
or comments about the 'slightly burnt' toast
which actually resembles charcoal.
I would quite happily scold you in front of your parents,
loudly demanding why you've left an awful smell in the bathroom.
I can yell at you, kiss you, laugh at you, hug you,
argue with you, sleep with you
without worrying what you think of me.
With you, there are no pretences:
I can be who I am.
The person who I don't need to impress.
The person who I can burp with,
snort with, have blonde moments with
without fear or embarrassment.
I don't need to hold in my laughter
or comments about the 'slightly burnt' toast
which actually resembles charcoal.
I would quite happily scold you in front of your parents,
loudly demanding why you've left an awful smell in the bathroom.
I can yell at you, kiss you, laugh at you, hug you,
argue with you, sleep with you
without worrying what you think of me.
With you, there are no pretences:
I can be who I am.
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Some people can just make you feel totally yourself.
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Comments7
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Great job describing why a significant other is who they are. A lot of people seem to get so caught up in making themselves appealing their SO that they forget to relax and be themselves. I really like the last line and how it ties into the very first line.
To be honest poetry is not my strong point, so for critique I'll mostly stick with grammatical stuff. It's pretty strong but I did notice a couple mistakes:
-"without fear or embarrasment." It should be spelled embarrassment
-"I would quite happily scold you infront of your parents," There should be a space in between front of
To be honest poetry is not my strong point, so for critique I'll mostly stick with grammatical stuff. It's pretty strong but I did notice a couple mistakes:
-"without fear or embarrasment." It should be spelled embarrassment
-"I would quite happily scold you infront of your parents," There should be a space in between front of